Girlsplaining

Girlsplaining

Being outspoken in bed is sexy – oh definitely- but should not be treated simply as a fetish. Being outspoken about our needs and desires in bed helps us to set boundaries, allows our partner to truly engage with us and eventually opens the door to great sex. Sex between people is not „magically great“ from the beginning. No. Maybe in movies / fantasies. But in reality sex is a dance between our and our partner‘s needs. The title of the film implies that this film is addressed especially to women: Go girls, guide your partner to your sweet spot! Yes. But… eventually despite gender and orientation. Everyone should feel empowered to speak up. Give yourself a voice and listen carefully. When was the last time you did stand up for your own desires or ask your partner to do so?

Bea Blue ~ Germany

Categories: EXPLICIT

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DIRECTOR STATEMENT:

In a 15-20 minutes long erotic short film the goal is to empower heterosexual couples to be more vocal about sexual preferences and pleasure in bed. Heterosexual intercourse has been a controversial topic throughout history: gender expectations and norms still play a crucial role how men and women approach each other during intercourse. Sex itself is not only something that remains in the private sphere but is a very political and public topic. Especially in western society sex is available like never before, privately and in media. Sex itself is therefore not a tabu topic but should not be treated as equivalent to sexual liberation. Just the possibility to have sex, doesn’t mean its good sex and what’s “good sex” is a widely discussed topic. Just the fact that sex is not an open tabu in western society anymore, does not mean we still have to go a long way towards sexual liberation. Sex is still a product of our society, culture and time. In this regard it might be not a surprise that heterosexual intercourse also follows certain narratives and we should stay mindful about it as well as couples. For example: male dominance and simplification of sexual desires and female devotion and submission.

Another crucial aspect that we want to challenge in that sex in film appears as something that is “naturally” good. Both partners magically know what they like and there is no need for a lot of communication or adjustments. This is also another aspect that is important for sexual liberation: Being outspoken about our needs and have the willingness to adjust. If we see active vocal exchange in bed, the media tends to fetishize this aspect: Daddy talk, dominatrix.

The goal of this film is to invite both parties to be vocal about their sexual preferences and adjust to each other accordingly – beyond gender expectations, just true exchange. Being vocal in this film is not going to be fetishes or portrait as something “utopian” or framed in a fantastic setting. Our couple should be relatable – it could be you, or me. Our story is not extravagant. We focus on their interaction, their empathy and willigness of commitment to truely engage sexually with each other – performerance become temporary. We want to invite people to question their expectations in bed: Do I really want this or do I think I want this?
This overall message in my opinion is super crucial. Western society might appear as sexual liberated but in fact we still have to go a long way till there. Sex is more available and expressed but how the sexual intercourse has to look like is still a very political and sensible topic. Therefore sex remains politcal and media does play a important role in that matter (film, porn, social media, etc.). Performers are role models: They do not only embody certain fantasy but by their performance they also transport a certain image of how sex could look like.

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