Are you looking to explore your kinky side and add some excitement to your sex life? Kinky toys are a great way to enhance sexual pleasure and intimacy, but it’s important to approach them with caution and safety in mind. In this beginner’s guide, we’ll explore 13 different kinky toys and provide expert safety tips and guidelines for each one.
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Communication, Consent, and Safety First
Before we dive into the kinky toys, it’s essential to emphasize the importance of communication, consent, and safety when exploring your kinky side. Talk to your partner about your desires and boundaries, and always get explicit consent before introducing a new toy or activity. Remember that safety comes first, so always follow the manufacturer’s instructions, use proper lubrication, and have a safe word in place to stop the play if things get too intense.
Blindfolds: Enhancing Sensory Deprivation
Blindfolds are a simple yet effective way to enhance sensory deprivation and intensify sexual pleasure. By blocking the sense of sight, the other senses become heightened, making every touch and sensation more intense. Blindfolds are also a great way to introduce trust and vulnerability into the relationship.
Benefits: Enhancing sensory deprivation, intensifying sexual pleasure, building trust and vulnerability.
Sexy Point: Sensory deprivation, submission, control.
Turn On: Both dominant and submissive partners can enjoy the feeling of being in control or surrendering control.
Feeling: The feeling of heightened senses and anticipation can be incredibly arousing.
Safety Tips: Always use a blindfold designed for sexual play to ensure proper fit and ventilation. Never use blindfolds made of materials that can obstruct breathing, such as plastic bags.
Hoods: Bondage Hoods, Puppy Hoods, Isolation Hoods
Hoods are an advanced form of sensory deprivation that can add a new dimension to your kinky play. Bondage hoods can be made of leather, latex, or spandex and can be full-face or open-mouthed, while puppy hoods are designed to resemble animal heads. Isolation hoods, on the other hand, are meant to completely isolate the wearer from the outside world, offering a unique and intense experience.
Benefits: Enhancing sensory deprivation, creating a unique and intense experience, building trust and vulnerability.
Sexy Point: Sensory deprivation, submission, control.
Turn On: Both dominant and submissive partners can enjoy the feeling of being in control or surrendering control.
Feeling: Wearing a hood can feel intense and isolating, offering a unique experience that can be both arousing and intimidating.
Safety Tips: Always make sure the wearer can breathe comfortably and remove the hood quickly if necessary. Avoid using hoods made of materials that can obstruct breathing, such as plastic bags.
Collars and Chokers: Enhancing Dominance and Submission
Collars and chokers are a classic symbol of BDSM and can be worn for aesthetic purposes or as a tool for control and domination. They can be made of leather, metal, or fabric and come in various styles, from simple chokers to elaborate bondage collars.
Benefits: Enhancing dominance and submission, building connection, trust and intimacy.
Sexy Point: Dominance and submission, control, ownership.
Turn On: Dominant partners can enjoy the feeling of ownership and control, while submissive partners can enjoy the feeling of surrendering control and submitting to their partner’s desires.
Feeling: Wearing a collar can be both physically and emotionally stimulating, offering a sense of ownership and control.
Safety Tips: Always make sure the collar is not too tight and can be removed quickly if necessary. Avoid using collars with spikes or other sharp objects that can cause injury.
Gags: Enhancing Dominance and Submission
A gag is a device used to limit or prevent speech during sexual activities. It can come in various shapes and sizes, including ball gags, bit gags, and ring gags.
Benefit: adds an extra layer of control and dominance to the scene, as the submissive is unable to speak and must rely on nonverbal communication.
Sexy Point: control, submission and helplessness
Feeling: erotic, limiting and helpless vulnerability, some find it arousing to feel the sensation of vocal limitation to just sounds and grunts alongside saliva dripping out of their mouth
Safety Tips: ensure that the gag is not too tight and can be easily removed in case of an emergency.
Clamps: Enhancing Sensitivity and Pain
Clamps are devices used to apply pressure to nipples or other sensitive areas of the body. They can come in various types, including clover clamps, alligator clamps, and vibrating nipple clamps.
Benefit: intense sensation, pain and pleasure
Sexy Point: combination of pain and pleasure. For the dominant partner, it can be a turn-on to see their partner squirming and moaning in pleasure and pain.
Safety Tips: start with gentle pressure and avoid leaving the clamps on for too long, which can cause damage to the tissue.
Paddles and Whips: Dominance and Submission
Paddles and whips are implements used to strike the body during sexual activities. They can come in various types, including floggers, crops, and canes.
Benefit: intense sensation, with some people experiencing pleasure from the pain
Sexy Point: The sexy point of using paddles and whips is in the dominance and submission dynamic it creates, with the dominant partner exerting control over the submissive by inflicting pain. For the submissive, it can be a thrilling experience to give up control and be at the mercy of their partner.
Feeling: Paddles and whips can feel different for each person, with some experiencing pleasure from the sensation and others finding it uncomfortable or even painful.
Safety Tips: start with light strokes and avoid hitting the spine or other sensitive areas of the body.
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Restraints: Bondage and Control
Restraints are devices used to immobilize the body during sexual activities. They can come in various types, including handcuffs, rope, and bondage tape.
Benefit: complete control and submission, with the submissive partner being completely at the mercy of their dominant partner
Sexy Point: vulnerability, surrender and immobilisation
Feeling: wearing restraints can make some people feel comforted, safe and loved. Others enjoy the surrender to the restriction. Dominants enjoy the feeling of power and responsibility for the experience of their submissive.
Safety Tips: ensure that the restraints are not too tight and avoid leaving the submissive unattended.
Chastity Toys: Chastity Belts and Chastity Cages
Chastity belts and cages are devices that are designed to restrict the wearer’s ability to engage in sexual activities. These toys are typically worn by people who want to experience sexual denial or submission. Chastity belts are typically made of metal or leather and can be locked in place around the genitals, while chastity cages are typically made of plastic or silicone and can be worn around the penis.
Benefits: the ability to control sexual desire and enhance sexual intimacy.
Sexy point: Wearing a chastity device can be a form of sexual submission, allowing the wearer to hand over control of their sexual pleasure to their partner. For the dominant partner, chastity devices can be used as a form of punishment or control.
Feeling: can feel restrictive and uncomfortable, but they can also provide a sense of sexual excitement and anticipation. It can feel like a constant reminder of sexual desire and can increase sexual tension.
Safety tips: ensure that the device is properly fitted, regularly clean and disinfect the toy, and always have a key on hand in case of emergency. It is important to regularly check for any signs of discomfort or pain and to never leave the device on for an extended period of time.
Anal Toys: Plugs and Hooks
Anal toys are toys designed to be used for anal play, including butt plugs and hooks. Butt plugs are typically made of silicone, rubber, or metal and are designed to be inserted into the anus. Hooks are designed to be attached to the end of a butt plug and can be used for additional stimulation.
Benefits: the ability to explore new forms of sexual pleasure and to increase sexual intimacy.
Sexy point: submission and pleasure. Anal play can be a form of submission and can also provide a sense of pleasure and arousal.
Feeling: anal toys can feel intense and pleasurable, but they can also cause discomfort and pain if not used properly. It can feel like a form of surrender and can increase feelings of vulnerability.
Safety tips: always using a water-based lubricant, starting with smaller toys and gradually working up to larger sizes, and never sharing toys between partners. It is important to regularly check for any signs of discomfort or pain and to always communicate with your partner about boundaries and preferences.
Wands: Electric and Crystal
Wands are sex toys designed to provide external stimulation, including electric and crystal wands. Electric wands are powered by electricity and are designed to provide intense vibrations, while crystal wands are made of crystal or glass and are designed to provide a more sensual and gentle experience.
Benefits: ability to provide intense stimulation and pleasure. Consensually forced orgasms.
Sexy point: mutual pleasure and interaction in a more immediate fashion with extra sensory activation Electric wands can be used to provide intense stimulation and can also be used as a form of punishment.
Turn On: can feel like a form of surrender and can increase feelings of vulnerability.
Safety tips: always use the wand with a water-based lubricant, never sharing wands between partners, and starting with lower settings and gradually increasing the intensity.
SPREADER BARS:
A spreader bar is a BDSM tool that consists of a rigid bar with cuffs or restraints attached to both ends. These bars are used to keep a submissive partner’s legs apart and immobile.
Benefits: Spreader bars can provide a unique sensation of vulnerability and helplessness for the submissive partner. They also allow the dominant partner to have full access to the submissive’s body, which can increase intimacy and sexual pleasure.
Sexy Point: submissive partner is restrained and helpless, while the dominant partner has complete control over their body providing a sense of excitement and anticipation for both partners.
Turn On: For the submissive partner, being restrained and at the mercy of their dominant partner can be highly erotic and arousing. For the dominant partner, the power and control over their submissive partner can be equally exciting.
Feeling: exposed, vulnerable, highly aroused as well as physically and emotionally intense for the submissive partner. For the dominant partner, the feeling of power and control can be exhilarating.
Safety Tips: use proper restraints that are sturdy and secure to avoid any accidents or injuries. Communicate with your partner and establish boundaries and safe words before using spreader bars. Never leave a restrained partner unattended, and be sure to regularly check on them to ensure they are comfortable and safe.
YOKES:
A yoke is a BDSM tool that consists of a rigid bar with two cuffs or restraints attached to both ends. It is used to keep the submissive partner’s arms immobile and elevated above their head. “Atomic Attraction” is a great book to explore psycho-sexual dynamics.
Benefits: Yokes can provide a unique sensation of vulnerability and helplessness for the submissive partner. They also allow the dominant partner to have full access to the submissive’s body, which can increase intimacy and sexual pleasure.
Sexy Point: combination of dominance and submission. The submissive partner is restrained and helpless, while the dominant partner has complete control over their body. It can also provide a sense of excitement and anticipation for both partners.
Turn On: For the submissive partner, being restrained and at the mercy of their dominant partner can be highly erotic and arousing. For the dominant partner, the power and control over their submissive partner can be equally exciting.
Feeling: can be both physically and emotionally intense for the submissive partner. A submissive may feel exposed and vulnerable, but also highly aroused. For the dominant partner, the feeling of power and control can be exhilarating.
Safety Tips: always use proper restraints that are sturdy and secure to avoid any accidents or injuries. Communicate with your partner and establish boundaries and safe words before using yokes. Never leave a restrained partner unattended, and be sure to regularly check on them to ensure they are comfortable and safe.
Vibrators: Bringing on the Buzz
Vibrators have been around for over a century, and they have come a long way since the days of hand-cranked contraptions that looked like something out of a mad scientist’s lab. Today, vibrators are sleek, discreet, and capable of delivering mind-blowing sensations to all genders.
What is it?
A vibrator is a sex toy that uses vibration to stimulate erogenous zones, such as the clitoris, vagina, penis, and nipples. Vibrators come in many shapes and sizes, from bullet vibes that can fit in the palm of your hand to larger models that are designed for deeper penetration.
Benefits:
Vibrators are a great choice for people who want to explore their own bodies or pleasure their partners in new and exciting ways. Unlike other sex toys, such as dildos or butt plugs, vibrators offer a wide range of sensations that can be adjusted to suit individual preferences.
Sexy Point: all about pleasure. Enhance orgasms and increase arousal; can be used during foreplay or as part of a BDSM scene.
Feeling: The sensations of using a vibrator can vary depending on the type of vibrator and how it is used. Vibrators can deliver gentle or intense vibrations that can feel pleasurable or even overwhelming. They can also be used to stimulate different parts of the body, including the clitoris, vagina, or prostate.
Safety Tips:
When using a vibrator, it’s important to follow some basic safety tips to avoid injury or discomfort. First, make sure to choose a vibrator that is made from body-safe materials and that is easy to clean. Second, avoid using a vibrator for too long or too frequently to prevent over-stimulation. Third, always use plenty of water-based lubricant to prevent friction and discomfort. Finally, never share a vibrator with a partner without cleaning it first, as this can spread bacteria and infections.
For more books about sex, masturbation and relating, check out:
- “Bang!: Masturbation for People of All Genders and Abilities (Good Life)” by Vic Liu
- “Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters–And How to Get It” by Dr. Laurie Mintz.
- “The Sex Ed You Never Had” by Chantelle Otten
- “Sex, Ecology, Spirituality: The Spirit of Evolution” by Ken Wilber
- “The Art of Sexual Magic: Cultivating Sexual Energy to Transform Your Life” by Margot Anand
- “The Ultimate Guide to Kink” by Tristan Taormino
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